Edinburgh Fringe Festival Jokes
For the past few
years, Dave has been running the best joke of the
Top 10 funniest jokes from the 2009 Edinburgh
Antopolski – "Hedgehogs -
why can't they just share the hedge?"
Lennox – "I was watching the
London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a
chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I
thought: 'This could be interesting.'"
Millican – "I had my boobs
measured and bought a new bra. Now I call them
Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes because they're
up where they belong."
Lyons – "I went on a girl's
night out recently. The invitation said 'dress
to kill.' I went as Rose West."
Whitehall - "I'm sure
wherever my dad is, he's looking down on us.
He's not dead. Just very condescending."
6) Adam Hills
– "Going to Starbucks for coffee is like going
to prison for sex. You know you're going to get
it, but it's going to be rough."
Brigstocke – "To the people
who've got iPhones: you just bought one, you
didn't invent it!"
Gilbert – "A spa hotel? It's
like a normal hotel, only in reception there's a
picture of a pebble".
Antopolski – "I've been
reading the news about there being a civil war
Well, I've seen it six times and there isn't."
Brodkin (as Lee Nelson) – "I
started so many fights at my school - I had that
attention-deficit disorder. So I didn't finish a
lot of them."